162. We're the new faced of failures, prettier and younger but not any better off.

I’m staring, lost for words. Why do I keep bleeding myself dry for you? Getting up to let you have the sadistic, cruel bliss of battering my down again. I don’t stand up for myself, don’t stand up for anyone else I could imagine except you.

I don’t know why you’re the exception, or maybe I do. Maybe it’s because you are so remarkably unparallel to anyone I know of, so much till even my judgment is shrouded in the clouds. I have no more words to say to you, nothing left of me to give, because everything I have you have taken and destroyed and pounded into nothing more than pulp of sand in the desert.

You admit to how much you are ignorant to feeling, how you can exclude yourself from people and still remain covered and veiled by the very ones you were avoiding. How can someone who'd rather secludes himself from the world still remain cherished and unharmed by godly hands?

Sometimes, I doubt I’m thinking clearly. I don’t think you exist, a figment of my imagination, a fabrication of my thoughts. Nothing can be created to be so invulnerable to all emotion, the only thing made to make us cower away and hide.

So I am asking you, are you real or are you just a part of me I want to be? I’m confused and lost in my train of thought, in my sea of dreams. I’m just waiting for a shadow on the ripple in the surface, a stretched out hand to bring me out of the ecstasy of the ocean.

161. I can drive and you can sleep, while the radio collides with the sound of our heartbeats.

I think the memory capacity in my head is less than the size of a penny.

Sigh.

Anyway, my Internet has been down for suuuper long and I have been socially deprived for the last 11 days. No contact with the outside world, alone in my house with nothing to do but games of Solitaire and Free Cell. You know how much time these retarded card games take up? LOTS. Crapp, I swear to god. I was sitting down in front of the comp for 3 hours trying to figure out how to play Free Cell and when I won, I missed my lunch ):

So many things passed me by. The Internet was dead, so no blogging, no writing, no drawing because I get my pictures from the net, no iming people, no blogs to read, no life? Shit, this sucks. Never will I abandon my laptop again. I missed you so much! ):

Ahh, were having dance practise soon again. Elle I want all the pictures. NOT ENOUGH (: Giggle. Gah.

Sports day passed, we got first for cheer. Yay us! Yay me for the uniforms, they didnt turn out too bad. Lols. Then, Chloe's birthday passed, happy 10th anniversary! Then Yi Shuen's birthday passed, which I accidentally slept on the couch with about 20 people sitting around watching our sports day. Then dance practises passed, outings with the cheerbitches and with Ryan and our old gang LOL.

And then, lots of basketball with Shaun, and Ryan and Adrian coming over to play Pokemon cards with my bro. Been playing Monopoly Malaysia Edition with superpowers for the past few days. Living on chocolate, 3 in 1 coffee, yummy Kopikos, late night mee gorengs and satays, fried rice, and spaghetti since my mum went overseas.

My mum came back today though! Yay, awesome. So long freedom, I will long for you the moment my mum starts nagging me again. It's late I guess, and my body alarm clock's going cuckoo. I'll be updating little bit my little bit as soon as I get the pictures.

Gahh, I'll miss Shaun and Brother Gang when the hols are over. Been spending too much time with you guys again. Lols. Basketball and Pokemon cards all the way, baby.

Sorry we couldn't catch you, Jas!
Miss you to the littlest bits of this torn and broken heart.

Lovesnicole. Tired and sore, beyond control.

161. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fullstop

Bryan and Nicole Sesaaaat.

Okay this is better. But still, Bryaaan.

Just us girls (:

Elle and Me (:

March 6th, 2009.

Friday.

Sports Day 2009




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq3Xhz6CQm0&feature=channel








http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp6_pk_9gNk&feature=channel_page

All I've got so far.

Courtesy of Weng Yan's blog, and Weng Yee's videocamera (:

Lols.

Cause all of sweat and tears can fill up for the hundreds of 100 plus bottles we drank.

Ahh. I'm savouring this victory forever :D.

Nicole ( :

160. The impossible dream.

I’m sorry for what you couldn’t have experienced when he was around, how the inevitable was closer than anyone thought. I swear I couldn’t imagine you crying, because you were never one to remain disheartened by anything for a long while. I have already forgotten what it feels like, and I don’t expect myself to understand what you are going through.

It’s a hard, rocky, rigid, rough, tough road to slowly letting go. Slowly and surely, you will crawl, and cry, and creep in grit and gnashes.

But you’ll pull through just like you always have.

I swear, I will help you every step of the way.

Just know that he’s no more in pain, and he’s better wherever he is now.

I'll be there for you forever and a day. <3

159. Fools are those who live on false hope.

Happy Birthday Cassidyஐ.

Honestly, there's nothing we shared that I won't miss (:

♥Nicole.

158. I'm leaving you for the last time baby.

I watch you stare, your eyes reaching like a scalpel deep into me, cutting me wide open and leaving my blood to dry. I feel so drained, empty. I’m trying to push my thoughts away from myself, because from my betraying visage you can see it all.

I lick my lips, not letting my emotions get the better of me.

I’m not letting it get to me this time, not this time, and hopefully not ever again. Why can’t I tear my eyes away from you, or stop imagining your bronze skin against mine? Restless feelings bouncing back and forth in my bare mind, words that mean nothing other than letters stringed together, misfits of a puzzle.

I’m trying to believe myself when I tell you that I’m leaving you for the last time baby. For the thousandth time I swear, because now it seems as though it is more of a lie than it would ever be after a thousand more.

157. I lose myself in all these fights, I lose my sense of wrong or right.

I was just watching this retarded Korean drama series on tv, cause my mum said all her friends said it was so awesome. I swear to god, the show was so crappy. The storyline is so fairytaley, and the scene jump from the school, to the work place, to the house, to the mansion. Haha. But it's all from the manga so I dont blame the movie. HAHA.

But seriously, I dont know why my mum's friends watch it. It's so... childish, and funny, and the story doesn't make sense. I don't know why 40+ year olds like them (:
Haha.

But still, I wouldn't mind watching the show over and over again for these hot Korean guys. Lols. Maybe that's the reason why (;

Nicole (:

This is Lee Min-Ho who plays Gu Jun-pyo (구준표)
He's like the super main star, but I don't really like his nose.
He's like, 21 this year. Pretty young. *HINTS*
Haha. It's a good thing his hair isn't retarded here.
It's curly in the show O _ O
EWW.

This is Kim Hyun-joong who plays Yun Ji-hoo (윤지후)
He's 22 this year I think.
Homagad, I swear he's sooo attractive in the movie.
And his hair is the BOMB, and he's the prettiest pretty boy.
And he's so damn adorable it makes me wanna go
LALALALALALA :D
SIGHHH.

This is Kim Bum who plays So Yi-jeong (소이정)
He's so cute!
He's just there to smile and look super pretty.
He's so cutee laaah, I just wanna bite him.
RAWR.

This is Kim Joon who plays Song Woo-bin (송우빈)

Now this I REALLY hate his nose.

LOL. But still he's kinda cute too (:
And super long and lean, and has great taste in shoes.

I'm lazy to write about the girl. Lols. She's not important.
She's not HOT, like all of them (:
In fact, she's so annoying in the show.

Anyhooo..
The show's called
"Boys Over Flowers"
I think lots of people heard of it before (:
It just came out this year. Haha.

I finally understand why people are so obsessed about Korean stars now.
It's because you cant just obsess about ONE.
You have to obsess about EVERYONE.

number 1:
They practically look the same

number 2:
The hot ones are usually the superheroes

number 3:
How can they cast someone not hot?

number 4:
They have the same names,
eg: Kim Bum, Kim Joon, Kim Hyun-Joong.
And they're 3/4 of the main characters in the show.

number 5:
They're roles are to stand there and look pretty.
They're practically jsut there for you to fall in love with them.

I will never mock people who love Korean stars again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

not.