I'm standing at the pavement , fading slowly into the grey tiles . I'm fading , into the green of the plants and the pink of scented flowers , into the blue of the firmament and the orange of the sun . My heart is pounding , thrashing into the little hollow of my chest . Cars whip past , the silver , the metallic copper , the black . Fading and blurring , vanishing beneath my feet . The world is closing onto me , turning , spinning , rotating , whirling , spiraling .There's a lullaby playing , the sweet tinkle in the beautiful sound they produce . There's no use trying to go back , trying to chase my forever dreams . There's no use trying to believe you exist again . I walk across the street , and just like almost every other morning , running over to the store to get the papers .
My feet drag accross the road . What if I had one more day to go back , and say goodbye ? What would I do . My heart would stop for a split second . My eyes exude and radiate my exhaustion , my hands are limp and tired . Fatigue is taking over my mind , inch by inch , invading my thoughts , spilling and pouring , overflowing into my conscious . There's nothing to talk about , nothing to try to do but survive this hazy , disrupted day .
It's such a lonely day , so cold and distant . I'm alone , again . My breath was caught in my throat , each second splitting down to millions of fractions . My tear ducts were emptied out , and all I could do was hope . Hoping that I could go back to when troubles were merely specks of sunshine in the bluest of days .
I sat down at a cafe , feeling the wind against my cold , clammy skin . The coffee I drank went down my sandpaper throat , the taste of nothingness in the air . I chewed on a bun till the taste too , were merely dry like dust .
Memory , which so confounds our waking life with anticipation and regret , may well be our true earthly consolation when time slips out of the joint . I'm embracing my silence , conforming into my reality , the reality that we all live in , trying to forget you exist . Trying to walk down the empty road , and forgetting that you're gone .
Nicole (:
I can't think , can't seem to keep my fingers running over the pads of the keyboard . I hear the piano playing in the other room . I hear music , sweet and distracting . I hear the gentle flipping of a magazine , one page after another . I hear the wind that whip past my ears , the silent drone of the fan . I hear so many things . But I can't hear myelf . 
