105. Pray to the morbid, melody of sorrow that he sings .

We’ve all come to a point of our lives where dying seemed like the most apt things to settle with. The limitless expectations from parents, the excruciating pain that hits core when you cannot achieve it, the wallowing sadness of failing, and in the end, the undying need to forgive yourself with a rope around your neck, and burn marks on your gentle skin.

It doesn’t hurt as bad, because the only person you will be deceiving is yourself. No one needs to feel the pain of your constricted throat, or the struggle in your mind whether or not you are worth to stay alive, or if this was just a way of escaping, cowardice of death and life itself.

The paths in your life that seemed to be endless stops hastily, and a whole emerges from the ground, threatening to swallow you into a whole darkness. It’s when you decide to take that step that shatters the wall between existing and coming undone. It is not bold, courageous, brave, daring, or gutsy. It’s an act of a coward, one who doesn’t face up to problems, who rather die with a lament choke, then with a heart of dignity.

Which are you?

The one who struggles to survive, to wait for a day to survive? Or the one that decides to let go and forget about living?

Nicole (: