quarante quatre. il est une balise.

Okay , so it was my parent's anniversary yesterday and I stayed up late watching Ugly Betty , Lipstick Jungle and Desperate Housewives . And Robert Buckley aka . Kirby Atwood is so hot ! xD . He's 26 (:

Omgg . His body is TO DIE FOR .

___________________________________________________________________

1. What have you realised recently?
Umm . I realized that I have an aching feeling inside , that I want to be loved again . Hahaha . But by who ? I haven't realized that yet :D

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
Lols , yeaaahh (:

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
1 . Chien Teng - She's my awesome skinny pretty (:
2 . Gavin Lim - Hahaha . He's my alien and I need skinny people . And he's CT's WEMJ xD .
3 . Maria - She loves my lotus file , what can I say ? :D

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
I guess I want to go to a place , where the surface of the sea glitters in the sunshine , where green grass billows in the wind , and goes on for miles and miles , where the wisps of wind would whip past my hair , where the sun would shine it's valiant rays onto the greenary below , where my troubles would never come to taunt me .

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
HAHA . I want to eat and eat and never grow fat , and I'd shrink to a size 2 (:

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Hahaha . I believe I see rainbows , so okay (:

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Myself , actually .

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Haha . I'd buy a house and refurnish it and then sell it for more money . It's all business baby (:

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
=.= . DUH . Isn't it obvious ? But only when the time is right (:

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
HAHAHA . I couldn't even type haha properly .
1 . He's nice , I guess . Hahaha .
2 . Intoxicatingly flirtacious (:
3 . Ummm , IDK . Shit . Umm , he .. HAS NICE HAIR :D

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
I need my space (: . Hahaha . Yes , not obsessive . My heart would jump out of my chest when I see him , and I need someone who can hold me without feeling embarrassed . Is a good kisser (:

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
FAGS . and ... Yeshh , just fags (:

13. What is your ambition?
Lol .
2 years - ice cream creator
5 years - dress designer
11 years - wedding gown designer
13 years - car spray person ( dreams man )
15 years - Haha . Interior designer . My dad has my whole life planned out , till I die maybe (:

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Haha . I'd rather they tell . But in a helpful way , not in a spiteful way . But I only want that to happen with friends , cause then I'd remember it more , and change without thinking the person is a pest and just wants to cari pasal =.= .

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Friends and family (: . My world would be crushed to pulp without them .

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Definitely not . Hahaha , unless I'm hyper , or my mum wants to get me things (:

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Enthralling .

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?\
If it's a thing I'd say my physical appearance (:
Ummm , to stop being so tom boy :D

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
My grandad has diabetes .

20. What are you gonna do now?
Tag people (:

I tag ;
- Chien Teng !
- Gavin Lim !
- Tiffany Khoo !
- Jodi !
- Maria !
(:
___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

The music may have died ,

but the words come alive ,

so paint me crimson with your blood shot eyes ,

and I , you , with my red lips ,

and we can sing fairytales forever ..

Quarante Trois . Nous, Les Rois .

_ And your song may fool the world .

LET'S BURN OUR DREAMS INTO THE SKYLINE .

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

We're jealous ,

we're in love ,

but who will win the heart ,

the one that we all want to have ?

Quarante Deux. Qui êtes-Vous Pas.

1. Post a picture of yourself showing your awesomeness.

Haha . Lookitt mee .

2. Have you ever hated anyone by looking at them? If yes, then explain why. If you dont know then do the penalty of tagging 10 people as opposed to 5 people.

Umm , haha yes ? (: . Lols , dunno laah . I guess it's the first impression . Lols , if they give otu this smelly smell then yes . xD .

3. If time travel was possible, and you stopped yourself from being born, therefore killing yourself, and you can say ONE thing to try and get your life back, what would it be?

OH SHIT :D

4. Name FIVE of your fears.


1. Dragonflies - one got stuck in my hair . Fear ever since =.=
2. The knock on my door - Yes , because I hate waking up (:
3. The sound of my alarm - Hahaha . Yes I'm scared of that too :D
4. Wearing spectacles - Yes I'm scared of it . I want my perfect vision (:
5. Doing a speech - SHIVERS .

5. Put your iTunes on shuffle and play five songs.

Umm , I don't have iTunes . Hahaha sorry (:

6. If right now you could buy two things that costs less than ten ringgit, what would it be?

1. A nice purple pen (:
2. A funny phone hanging thing (:

7. Right now, think of the title for an autobiography about yourself in fifty years.

Hahaha . Ummm , Nicole , To Jail Or Not To Jail . (:

8. If you had a gun and infront of you stood fifteen babies and the gun is filled with venom, and next to you was your best friend, who do you shoot? If you shoot the friend, he dies instantly, if you shoot the babies, the venom spreads and kills them all. btw: you have to shoot someone, otherwise the venom leaks out of the gun and kills all of you.


Hahaha . Okay laah , I'll kill everyone laah what to do =.=


10. What is your favourite band


We The Kings :D

11. What would you if your friend offers you drugs, but you reject him, then he forces it on you, but you resist, so he takes out a knife and you accidentally kill him?


Hahaha . SERVES HIM RIGHT (:

12. Who would win in a fight in your opinion, Bruce Lee with his left leg ripped off or CHUCK NORRIS with his beard shaven off?

Chuck Norris with his beard shaven off , definitely (:


13. Why did the chicken cross the road? IN YOUR OPINION .

Cause the chicken couldn't find anything better to do laah duh =.= . Or maybe it's helping an old man over :D


14. If you werent a human, what would you wanna be?

Hahahah . I'd rather be air (:


15. Whats the best youtube video ever?

Charlie The Unicorn ! :D
___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

Scream .

Cause the world is gone .

And the earth beneath your feet is sinking .

Quarante Un . Tout Simplement Trop Nombreux .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAS AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND ! :D .

Haha . Hi Nasri (:

Lols .

I'm sure anyone who reads this will ask about your girlfriend .

LOL .

Hahahaha , I just cursed you (:

Anyway , have funn .

Sorry I couldn't be there with you !

Lols .

Iloveyou ! xD .

Have a great one , magic man :D

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TIFFY ! :D

Hello Tiffy .

Lol (:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY !

Iloveyouu .

Hopee you had a greatt one !

Sorry I was late :/

Hopefully you'll forgive me .

I love your hair !

Haha . Forgive me kay ? (:

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

It's like a wish ,

the flames that flicker beneath the surface ,

a hope so pure and beautiful .

A love so strong and true .

Though those flaws ,

here's a start .

Right here .

Right now .

Quarante. L'Amour Est Le Mien.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY EDWIN ! :D

Haha . Sorry I didnt wish you earlier :d .

I wanted to do it in school , but I was smelly .

Cause I played badminton (:

Haha . I can't wish you today either .

Cause I'm not at school .

Anyway , have a great one .

Lucas looviess your specks .

Looks good on you :D

Hahaha .

Happy burbday ! (:

___________________________________________________________________

Acckk . Who could live without this skinny beauty ? (:
Haha . Okay , I just had too larrh KAY :D
Yay ! I'm awesome at cameragraphy (:

___________________________________________________________________

HAHA . I'M THE MOST MODEST PERSON IN THE WORLD ! (:

IRONIC .

Nicole (:

The sun might shed it's brilliant light ,

facades of time that drill your mind ,

but you've fought a valiant and beautiful battle ,

for your body and for us this time .

Trente-Neuf. Mains De Dieu.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOTH KID ! (:

From your Fairy Gothmum (:

PuteraZAMIR

The pendulum swings our time away ,

the clock ticking endlessly .

Watching .
Waiting .
We are enclosed in our fairytales .

Cocooned by our own imaginations .

Our timeless fantasies .
The limitless thoughts of our fictions .

We'd live through .

The blood that taints our skin ,

the cuts that burns so deep .

We'll live .

Don't we always ?

___________________________________________________________________

WOULD IT KILL TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE THAT .

___________________________________________________________________

Dream Guy .

It wouldn't kill to have a pretty face xD

Low , mellow voice . Grr . Sexyy (:

A cute , playful guy doesn't harm anyone . Rawr xD .

Readers are SEXY .
I'm telling you (:

I've got to admit , lip rings are sexy too (:

Problem with Malaysian schools ?
NO ONE I repeat NO ONE has awesome hair xD

Guitar Players . Dreamy no ? (: ___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

Time and time again ,

I wait .

No sparks .

I wonder if I lost it .

Trente Huit. Afin S'Ennuyer.

YES . I'M SICK OF IT . TIRED OF THE FACT THAT ITS THERE , THAT WE CANT RUN AWAY FROM WHAT WE KNOW .

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

Rivulets of golden tears ,

streaming down your cheeks ,

glinting in the sun .

So beautiful .

Trente Sept Ans. Joyeux Anniversaire.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIA ! :D .

Maria Maria .

She's the something of the West Side Storyyy ! (:

You know that song ?

Right , okay .

Lols . My Lotus file ! xD .

I'll try to give you a little something tomorrow !

Haha . I know I said happy birthday early .

But happy birthday again ! xD .

Hahahaha .

I'll try not to offer you and Ili food next time .

ILY BAYBEH (:

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole Nasri

What's this ( Points )

It's , um . Lotus .

Yeaah . Actually no .

Okaaay , what is it ?

It's a FILE ! :D

Oh my god .

What ? You got some magic trick ?

OH MY GOD .

___________________________________________________________________

I SWEAR TO GOD ALL I NEED IS TO BE STICK SKINNY AGAIN . THEN I'LL SHUT UP .

Nicole (:

The thirst disappears .

Then ,

You do .

Trente Patrouille . La Rupture .

____________________________________________________________________

Sometimes , Yi Shuen says I'm so emo . BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED ! :D
God , I miss you laah woman .
Got your PMR revision stuff with me .
I'll visit you soon !
And Arya is a pig :D

____________________________________________________________________

I was falling.

Falling into a pit of hurt and loss.

Of pain and never-ending despair.

I hung on tight to my life-line,

my only source of comfort.

I hurt at the thought of losing you,

of never being able to feel the way you make me feel when I'm around you,

of never being able to be myself with anyone else.

I shudder at the thought of having to continue my life without you by my side,

offering words of courage and encouragement,

ensuring that I never give up,

that I never lose faith.

I feel you clutching me closer to you

and I hope that this moment would never end.

I feel two streams of tears escaping from my eyes,

feeling that the tears are what we are like,

the same,

yet never meant to meet and be together as one.

I feel you pulling away from me,

trying to lift my head to dry my tears.

I kept my head facing the ground,

refusing to look at the face that betrayed and ripped my heart out of me,

leaving me empty.

I hear you sigh,

knowing that you know exactly what I'm thinking

about like you always do.

You knew.

You knew that this would happen,

yet you kept me on the line,

letting me believe that we could be together forever.

I feel you giving up,

and once more enveloping me in your arms.

I know.

I know that this is the last time you would ever do this.

I feel you kiss my head for the last time.

I feel the solace of you arms letting me free to the unknown,

which is the future.

I refuse to look up,

trying to force myself to stop crying,

from trying to prevent you from leaving.

I hear you turn around with a final goodbye escaping from your lips.

The sound of your footsteps leaving.

In final abandon,

I dropped to my knees and cried,

for all the pain and misery falling in love with you had brought,

for all the times we spent together,

now meaningless memories of a time that would never happen again.

By : Yeoh Yi Shuen (:

_____________________________________________________________________________________

CAN'T A GIRL JUST PINCH HER FAT IN PRIVACY .

Nicole (:

Time's finny isn't it ?

It's infinite .

But we're not .

Trente Quatre. Mourir Pour Une Autre .

Do I wish my longer hair was back ?

Oh , god . Yes .

So I can cut it again (:
___________________________________________________________________

We are all looking for the broken .

___________________________________________________________________

Jasmine Lee is back (:

Hahaha .
Gosh , she's so skinny now .
Jasmine has been my friend since I was born .
Then came the rest of the Js (:
A few years laterr .

The Second J , Jonathan Lee .

Then the Twins , Justen ,

And Julian (:

Haha . The J's before they left Malaysia (:

___________________________________________________________________

Hey , look at this !
It's nice .
That's it?
Yeah , that's it .
Oh . ( Puts it back .)
You don't have to wear anything you know.
WHAAT . (Whacks .)
Ouch . What was that for?
That's what they all say , you .
Haha . You're nice enough without it .
That's what they all say too .
Yeah but they don't mean it like I do

(:

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

Maybe,
we'd lose all hope ,
we'd lose all faith ,
But we never lose our hearts .

Trente Quatre. Mains Ou Pas.

The sweetest sin .
Bright , as the garish light of day .
SHOES . Omgg , I love your shoes (:

___________________________________________________________________

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAVIN , ALIEN ! :D

You should know all the trouble I went through trying to get your number .

Wui Yang . Tai Yuin . U Jin . Laamm . Shanni .

Woiyoh . So hard man . All also takde .

LOL . Seriously weihh .

So susaah waan .

But , I still didn't get it , so on Monday laah (:

Lol .

ALIEN .

Gaah , man I love youu xD .

Gaavin . _________

Sometimes ,

when the current pulls me under ,

throwing me like a rag doll ,

into the rolling rages of white horses,

that crash onto the clean shore .

A stick so thin ,

a hold so strong ,

it saves the world for me .

So tell me , just hold on .

It's your birthday , you .

How could you be alone ? (:

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

It's the madness ,

comsuming and fuming ,

with hatred ,

with regret .

Trente Trois. Cœur Bat.

Nicole , guess whaat ?

What ?

You're pretty .

Yeah , more like pretty ugly .

Ugly pretty .

Ugly pretty is pretty ugly , you .

No , it isn't .

Yeah , it is .

No , it isn't .

Yeah , it is .

No , it isn't .

Trust me , it is .

Same diff laah .

We could do this all day long you know ?

Yeah . That's why .

Why what ?

Why I had to .

___________________________________________________________________

Sometimes , when the world starts to fall apart .

___________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

It's a sensation ,

a longing filled with intoxication ,

the gentle corruption of the mind ,

probing and proding .

And maybe one day ,

we'd all be crazy in love .

Trente Trois. Mort.

"Daddy's Day"

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;

she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates,

of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees,

a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,

for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,

a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one,"

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories,

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him,

I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart.

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,

her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love,

of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could, he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,

she witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed,

if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining bright star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.

___________________________________________________________________

Dedicated .

Trente Et Un . Jaune Miel Fille .

Happy Belated Birthday Tai Yuin ! (:

Haha . Okay I'm really sorry for doing this late .

Lols . I kinda forgot and I had no time to go online yesterday (:

Whee . Anyway , hope you had a great birthday !

I heard Gavin's is coming up soon .

Gahhh .

Sorry Tai Yuin .

Mumbo Jumbo (:

I've gotta tell you something in ballet ! :D

AH .

It's a secret , which I so wanna puke out now .

Anyway anyway .

LOVE YOU .

Nicole (:

___________________________________________________________________

We can't all hide from reality .A mask of happiness , where everyone is beautiful .
Haters make me FAMOUS .
Heart of Glass . (More like eye (: )
It hurts , but you still love it anyway .

___________________________________________________________________

This is Alexandre . He's so hot ! :D . Hahaha . He's on deviantart . So yadda , yadda . He takes brill pictures . I looove it (: . Hahahaha . The thing that amazes me is the intensity of his blue eyes , and the numer of shades it has ( even if it might have been photoshopped ) . Boo .

___________________________________________________________________

A gold sheet of light bounced off the smooth surfaces , enlightening the path of it's brilliant rays . Light poured into the room and pooled into dozens of suns on the tiled floor . The winds flirted with the thin transparent curtains , dancing to their own rhythm . The orange autumn leaves fluttered about outside of the room , their dried brittle forms grazing against tall oak trees .


A girl sat in a chair , her face filled with grim determination . Wisps of hair fell against her fringe ; the rest , held up by an old black scrunchie . She edged her glassers back onto her nose , and pushed the stray hairs out of her eyes . A smudge of blue tainted her peachy , radiant skin , but it didn't matter . She didn't care . Her tongue peeked out from her mouth , her face almost a grin .


Another nimble stroke of her brush and expressions poured out of her face . Guilt , madness , happiness , determination , frailness . A dangerous type of beauty . She dabbed her brush into the steel blue coloured paint again and worked her passion onto the canvas .


A new creation .


She pushed back her hair behind her ears , feeling the wind against her slender neck . She swiped away gently at the film of sweat that gathered on the top of her upper lip . Her eyes were still and emotionless , like she ws part of a distant space and time , so lost in her confsed imagination , her limitless thoughts about everything in the world . Each stroke of the brush perfected her masterpiece , and she wasn't the only one to see it .


Outside the door stood a boy , peeking in curiously . His fingers gently tapped against the glass , rhythimcally to the beating of his heart in his chest . He flattened his spikey hair against the pane , staring down at his shoes . Pressing his hand to his face lightly , he sighed . A flurry of thoughts crosses his mind when he came here . Just watching , waiting . A new emotion that kept him hungry for more . Each day , savouring the moment where he could just watch and be amazed by the perfection she created on paper .


He looked up again , but all he saw was the portrait , and the girl wasn't there .


In the portrait , a lady with flawless , honey gold skin and steely cold blue eyes stared back at him , cold and unwilling . His heart freezed in his chest . Among all , this was the one that stood out and shocked him . It was scary beautiful . The cold , sea blue eyes that held his gaze sealed away his whirlwind of hurried thoughts .


He caught a movement on his right .


There she was . With her soft , dark hair floating around her flawless skin . The nostalgic picture that she made against the cream coloured walls without trying . She looked at him intently with her black eyes , a small grin that was hinting at the edge of her lips . He sighed again . His fingers were shaking from the excitment of being caught , and the way she could look at him and make time stop . He turned the handle and stepped in .


" I can exp-"


"Why don't you come in ? Why do you always stay outside ?"


Her eyes burned with curiousity as he gently closed the door behind him . He gave an embarrasing cough and blood rushed to his head . There was a long pause . So long , his ears started to ring and his feet shuffled among each other . He jammed his hand into his pocket and ran his fingers through the length of his hair . She remained still and silent , leaning against the wall and crossing her arms . Her eyes was tinged with humour .


"I thought you'd be afraid of me , and I wouldn't be able to come back here anymore ."


She threw her head back in laughter , showing the entire length of her slender neck , exposing the soft skin that was covered by her hair . Her laughter rang in his mind over and over again and his heart raced for another glimpse of what she truly was like when she wasn't drawing . There was silnce again , but it was welcoming . They greedily ate it up , trying to think of something ncie to say .


" Why would I be afraid , now ?"


Her eyes beseeched his , his senses tingling , his blood singing . Amusement caused her to smile at him . She was opening up to him , and now , taking slow and graceful steps forwards . He smiled back politely , a mysterious tinge at the edge of his mouth . He took a step forward , and another .


" You have no idea ," he smiled , showing his teeth .


She grinned back . " Why don't you give me one ," she teased .


He pulled her to him and enveloped her body with his strong arms . He thumbed away a blue paint smudge from her cheek and smiled down at her . With that , he sealed his longing confession with a touch of her dainty lips against his . He kept his confused emotions at bay and kissed her willingly . Passion flowed through their bodies , pulsating with every beat of their hearts . Their fingers entwined , locking away all their fears and suspicion . In a way they were talking , without saying anything at all .


After a while , he pulled away .


"How was that for afraid ?" he whispered into her ear .


She smiled . " I don't know," she said . " Better try again ."
___________________________________________________________________




Nicole (:

No matter how strong we pretend to be ,

we can all be fragile .

But everyone in the vicinity fell for it .

Our painted on brave masks ,

the ones that hide who we are.

Trente. Dire à Nouveau.

How pretty .
Maybe this time, it's not that obvious.
These are the things lies hide.
Maybe it's just me.
Brighter than any sun.

____________________________________________________________________

Try to imagine a sound that you've never heard

A color that you've never seen

A taste you've not tried

And maybe you'll know what I mean.

Say it again,

for me.

Cause it's like the skies open up.

And I feel I could smile again.

_____________________________________________________________________

Nicole (:

Let rain drizzle down your back,

drilling holes into it,
coming out crimson red.

Rain.
It's so beautiful isn't it?

Bold.

Exciting.

Dangerous.