Soixante Quatre . Soutenu ?

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You are a vibrant, vivacious person. When you live, you live as wildly and loudly as possible. You are very bold. You are willing to stand up and be a leader. Your inner demon is intensity. You have a tendency to let your passions take over. People think you're cute because you're fiery. When you get worked up, it's charming.

The Cute Monster Test

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Expect the unexpected .

We don't expect anything , do we ? We don't expect anything , except expecting the expected . The expected is what we know , our timed , unwritten agenda , the ways we keep our lives woven into the threads of reality , seeping into our bloodstream . We are all passionate and focused , fighters for the right of fate over our lives , the destiny that we all want to have . But we are losing the valiant battle over our will .

We want to be able to choose : To chose the course of our lives , or how our lives would turn out . We don't want to fade away , like a wisp of wind that blows out the tiny flicker of flame from our life candles . We don't want to end up dead and crimson beneath the flowers of a tyre . We dont want to lie on a cold bed and wait for a last breath , confined within bare , thin walls , just waiting for the time to come , and for the last seal of our tired eyes .

We want to do the expected . We want to only do what is expected of us . We wake and eat and sleep . We work for what we're capable of , we try to do what we think we can . Our daily routines . The unexpected throws us off course , makes everything hazy , like a window after the rain , or a sky filled with mist and dew . We leech on familiarity , the vague sense of memory embedded into our minds . We need lucidity , coherent and cogent logic to keep our minds on track , to make sure we dont veer off what we intended to do . We don't need things popping out of no where to cause us distress , or throw us off balance .

All we want , is to expect the expected .

Because when there is the unexpected , we start to hope .

And hope keeps our spirits alive .

But our breaths quiet .

Nicole (:

Soixante Trois . Imaginer .

Happiness ?

What does it actually mean ? I can't fully grasp the meaning of the word , the simplicity it portrays . Happiness was once merely a term when I was younger . Where we kids were the good guys , the heroes . And where homework and teachers who give them were the antagonists , the enemy . Happiness was when we finished our homework , or learnt how to ride our bikes . Happiness was when we our parents showered us with praises , and gave us hugs and kisses at night .

But still , the meaning of it lingers in my head .

Our immature adolescence cause our comprehension of the easiest words to become hazy and disrupted . A word doesn't carry a meaning , but a few thousand faces to it . We realize that our world is no longer as simple as telling red and blue apart . Everything becomes a splash of purple , everything is diferent and no longer as straight forward as it used to be . Our dreams are no longer about happiness . It is convoluted and complex , sick and twisted .

At some point , maybe we accept a dream has become a nightmare . We tell ourselves the reality is better . We convince ourselves that we never dreamt at all . But the strongest of us , the determined of us , holds on to the dreams . Sometimes , we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered . We awake to find ourselves against all odd , feeling hopeful . And if were lucky , we realize that in the face of life , the best dream , is having to dream at all .

Dreams are the keys to happiness . The dreams that do not die when our eyes are open , and linger on for a moment or two . The dreams that don't wake us up feeling cold and empty , betrayed of all warm emotions .

The dreams that makes us feel completely , utterly blissful .




Nicole (:

Soixante Deux . L'horreur .

Can you see what I'm talking about ?
Bloody Eye Candy .

Break me , baby .

Her eyes are open like a book .

Her fingers choke her head to look .

A moment feels so out of place .

Cause we're left standing in disgrace .

- Lostprophets , Can't Stop , Gotta Date With Hate .

(Thanks Eugene ! Lostprophets are awesome ! )

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Run Away Baby .

Hold on .

Cause these words can seem so cold .

Cry out your pain .

When there's nothing like to say .

And let's be .

Gone today .

Or tomorrow ?

You and I .

Our yesterdays .

Gone today .
Or tomorrow ?
You and I .

It doesn't matter anyway .

Nicole (:

Soixante. Il Ya Quelqu'un?

The moment the word reaches my ears , they screech to a sudden halt . I knew it , maybe it was my fault , maybe it wasn't . Reality is finally seeping into my bloodstream , and my mind finally begins to understand and hate myself for it . I look in the mirror , and all I see is a failure , a disgust in other eyes . My skin is burning with humiliation , but my eyes simply can't tear away from the horror I see in the mirror .

The horror I see in me .

My fingers clenched and unclenched , and I feel my raw skin being scrapped by my nails . How come there is no pain ? I don't understand . Somehow , I don't understand anything . I don't understand why . I dont understand how . The mirror blurs , and all that's left is a water painted version of myself . My arms were drawn and elongated away from my body , wavering in a wild manner . And then . Nothing .

It was almost impossible to adapt to these changes , and now , I'm getting left behind . These things don't fit me anymore . The sad , humiliated eyes are the only things that fill my dreams . Evven those who were so dear to me remained so stubborn about their image , about what they wanted and needed me to be . There was no purpose other than what must happen to me , what I must do to change .

I stare at the mirror , but I no longer see myself . I no longer see a person with short hair , tan skin , and a fray of pimples accross her face . I see a ghost , who might have haunted me through my life . The person who I was supposed to be is still kept alive by them , and they see past me , and never noticed how much I want them to take a look , and realize that what they see is me .

They don't know how much I have tried and tried to make what they want come true . All the teases , and all the lies , these little things that they say that hurts so much . Why bear with them ? I dont know . I don't understand them enough to know why . But I know it's cause I have to . My ears are open , and their taunts remain ringing and ringing no matter how much I try to shut them out .

Some people tell me size doesn't matter , but how could it not when I hear them all the time .

Nicole (:

Cinquante-Neuf. Si Longtemps .

Hot Alert .

Jason Behr

OMG , can anyone say he's not hot ? :D

He was Jake Sawyer in The Tatooist .
I will kill you if you say he's not sexy .

My bloody eye candy ! :D

Jesse Metcalfe

He was the gardener ( John I think ) in Desperate Houswives (:

He was also John Tucker , in John Tucker Must Die .

Hot body ? Nyehh ! :D:D .

He has a snail trail , but he's hott .

Ryan Gosling

He acted in The Notebook (:

Omgg I was gushing over him in the movie .

But he looks better without the scruffy beard .
Waay sexier .

Tom Sturridge
Hot as ever :D:D .

Thomas Sidney Jerome Sturridge is his full name .

He was Young Georgy in Vanity Fair .

Ho-humm (:

Sean Faris

He was William Beardsley in Yours , Mine , Ours .

Or Byron Moore in Smallvile .
Hot , I tell you .

Every inch of skin on his body (:

Cam Gigandet
You may know him from The O.C as Kevin Volchok .
He's also acting in Twilight as James , the evil vampire antagonist .

Delicious (:

Zac Effron

Troy Bolton in High School Musical ! :D

Okay , I didn't think he was really cute but wow .
The black and white one is gorgeous !

Zac Effron is one pretty boy (:

Robert Buckley

Or also known as Kirby Atwood in Lipstick Jungle !
It's so sad he has to keep making out with a 40 year old woman .

And what a bad name for a guy so hot as himm (:

If looks could kill, Robert Buckley would be a WMD .

A Weapon of Mass Distraction :D

Nicole (:

Shine at me from my heaven ,

feel my light against your skin .

Taint me with the talks of sunshine .

Swallow my pain in a dark halo .

Cinquante Huit . Pas de Restrictions.

Liyanah & Nicoleh (:
Liyana and Nicole , not so blurr (:

Chloe trying to swear .

Krystal eating her Fuanita or something like that .

Chloe and Yee Xin's best attempt to swear (:

Mei Kee acting "cool"

Chloe walking towards Baskin Robins (:

Chloeh and Nicoleh (:

At the Forever 21 changing room mirror ! (:

Krystal at MPH :D

Liyana at MPH :D

Very shiny Krystal (:

Haha . Another jewel (:

Chloe's awesome amazing photographic skills :D

Looking at pictures in Chili's (:

Using so many cameras :D

Krystal , Chloe , Yee Xin (:

Kanye West on Krystal :D

Like damn chyunn .

Liyana matching with her baju (:

Haha . So yeng :D

This was either Krystal or Chloe (:

Yee Xin :DD

The original owner , Chloe (:

Second one :D:D

Chloe Wong

Krystal Ho

Low Yee Xin

Liyana Sobri

Nicole Chen
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Sanity confines our minds , keeps our feet on the ground and our heads from the clouds . Sanity bounds our imagination , and we aren't free to do as we please . Our conscious minds may wonder off to beautiful lands , full of green grass and amazing rays of sunlight descending down the sillouhette of the distant mountains . But what lives there can only exist in our heads , and survive as a memory .

We no longer find rides as thrilling , as the new things slowly fade to grey . Facades of dust and dirt maybe settle on the mantlepiece , or gather together on porcelain dolls , lifelessly sitting and staring at us with the cold blank of it's glassy eyes . But the sentimental value keeps us there , and holds us dear . Knowing that it exists not only in our minds , but in the eyes of another . Knowing that sanity is what we could keep , and not let it wander .

So be it . We all fear of the unknown . We all feel fear , and protect our pride . We snigger and snort at a crazy old man on the street , dancing to a song with no music , singing with a voice but no sound . We laugh , but sometimes we envy . He might be outcasted for his dirty looks , or disturbing behaviour , but he is free . Sanity no longer holds him back from the things he could or couldn't do , and death or live would be neither a blessing nor a curse .

I want to be free , to be able to soar in the sky amongst strange and lovely creatures that ruled the day and the night . I want my mind to be able to venture out and grasp things I never imagined possible . I want to run for miles and miles on end , feeling only the wind that whips my hair from my face , and the sore and weakness in my shaky limbs .

Free ? We are all contained and held by or sanity . It holds us back from what we can truly get or achieve , holds us back from going beyond our limits .

But sanity , is the only thing that glues us to our minds , and makes us believe that we are truly , greatly , still lost within the containment of our lives .

Nicole (:

Lick off that strawberry icing ,

and get tangled up in my hair .

be speechless .

Stop talking and share my moment ,

share the beauty in my love .

Cinquante Sept Ans. Mes Erreurs.

Mistakes .

The mistakes we so often make , yet so oblivious that we are making them , carving their sadistic selves into our lives , ticking like the pulse in our necks . We live on the edge of our minds , thinking , dreaming . Sixty thousand thoughts cross our minds every single day , but we don't get tired . Not ever . Humans are wondrous things , things we ourselves cannot comprehend . How our minds think , how our hands move , each pulsating beat of our undying hearts till the last drop of time .

But we are flawed , in every way . We are never perfect , and the existence of it burns recognition into the very core of our being . How we've lived knowing we're wrong most of the time , and not so right in the other . These perfect beings that God created , this intellectual race full of new creations and inventions , no matter how perfect , we make mistakes .

The pang of fear comes back over and over again , hitting me full force in my chest . No matter . The beauty of sunsets that emblazons in our eyes , or the brilliant writing of a person that could come to live in our heads , or even the low , melodious tones of a singer , enticing us with her voice and body . No matter , the perfection to the things we see or hear .

They are flawed , in every single way .

After the sun has set , and the night fills the sky with darkness , we can no longer see light , and that perfection we sought for in the morning gleam remains lost in time , as we wait for the sun to rise again . The writing of a true believer , whether we like it or not , will come to an end . A final flip of the last page , and nothing , no more than just a memory that haunts our minds . The ability of the voice from a singer will stop when she has gone past her capabilities . Then , the eternal beauty of the song that flutters among our beseeching ears will screech to a halt , the sudden break of the tension in her voice , and the beauty that we love of it betrays all , and once again proves that we are flawed , in every way possible .

Hope still exists , though hope is the one thing that keeps us living in our fantasies , our heads up in the clouds . Where there is hope , there is pain and anger , and there is also joy and laughter . Hope brings out the best in all situations , hoping for the rainbow after a storm , hoping for a flicker of smile across anothers lips . Hope also breaks us from the inside , and tear us apart without even trying . Hoping for another to live , and yet he just couldn't , no matter how much we've hoped .

It lives in our blood , coursing through our bloodstreams , creating miracles and havoc whenever it is given to us . Hope derives us from thinking about the mistakes we've done . It pushes away the fact that the truth is burning brightly in our minds , driving away what little conscious we have when we have even less of sanity . We could hope that someone doesn't catch us dancing and singing to ourselves in the shower . We could also hope that no one watches when we decide to do something so sadistic and unimaginable .

But , the truth is still there .

Painfully searing through the fabrics of our fantasies , the perfection of our imagination . We cannot undo what we know , nor forget the existence truth . We could get drowned in lies , but we'd know the truth , like a speck of red against a mass of black , the glittering stars that stand out in the night sky . We cannot change the truth , but we can alter them in ways we couldn't possibly understand , and yet the words that come out holds our confession a secret

And sometimes , when that happens , we forget .

We forget the truth , and believe the lies we have created , the ones that cover up for what we did . The lies play over and over again in our minds and soon enough , the lies that revolve around the truth gets muddled up , blurred like a man without glasses , or a canvas that is only a splash of colors . And soon we won't be able to tell from wrong to right , like seeing white from yellow , or our incapability to see the stars in the morning .

It's there . It's alive .

But we forget .

And the truth remains tangled up in our weaves of lies , a speck of sand rolling in the forever waves , caught and lost within the lies we conjure in our minds .


Nicole (:

I have made a mistake , and guilt is gripping my heart , clawing at my indifference , trying to make the truth come out by forcing the breath from my lips . So I'm sorry . For every heart ache , for everything I might have done , for my ignorance to the truth . My hidden apology remains billowing in the winds , heard but not seen , tasted but not touched . Maybe it will help and maybe it won't , but the fingers of guilt no longer grip at my heart , the sickly taste of sin no longer lingers on my lips , and I can finally breath again .

Cinquante Six . Une Chance.

We all live because we're lucky .

We're lucky enough to be the fastest sperm to swim to the ovum .

Yay , lucky us .

Haha . I knoww :D



Swim Phelpie swim like an Olympian ! (:

8 Simple Things In Life .

Day after day .

We live .

Then we die .

We laugh , we cry , we sing , we dance .

The ever changing world , the peace , the war .

Maybe in all the battles we face , we don't win .

But it's so beautiful .

Nicole (:

if that cibai fucking fattie shit ahma dumb head still ask me to pay him , i'm going to kick his fucking mahai small smelly disgustingly saggly little girl balls and cut open that fucking mini little small petite stupid idiotic gay assed fucked up sohai dumb brain of his and throw away all that stupid immature retarded gay corrupted disgusting fucking ugh thoughts and make sure he can take his short fat ugly saggy layered legs and stuff them up his fucking smelly cibai little mouth (: